7 Green Flags Your Date Is A Great Person

7 min readDec 12, 2020

I’ve written plenty of articles about red flags to watch out for when dating, but never green ones, even though I’ve been on plenty of dates with great people.

I’ve always been picky about who I’ll go out with. While that probably kept me from people that were actually fine, I became pretty good at sniffing out someone’s BS quickly.

But by now, you probably know the obvious signs to watch out for that someone kinda sucks. But what should you watch out for to know if someone is really awesome? What a lot of people would call a “keeper?”

While no one has to possess all of these qualities to be a genuinely great person, they’ll most likely have at least a few. In my experience, (not only in romance but with all people I’ve met), these are the green flags that indicate you’re dating someone that’s a good person:

Kindness — towards you and others

If your date is showing you kindness, what they’re inadvertently doing is creating a safe space for you, which will play out well for you both. When I first met my current boyfriend, I felt wary of opening up to yet another person. But his kindness made sharing anything with him feel easy.

But you might be thinking, “Well, people act fake all the time.” That’s true. A better indicator of kindness, not just of how they treat you, is how they treat others. Take note of how they behaved with the waiter. When their mom or colleague calls to talk, are they still the sweet person they are with you? Repeated kindness is a sign their actions are genuine.

An open mind

No two people will ever have the same opinions, and that’s perfectly OK. Hearing about other people’s experiences and beliefs is how we grow as people. While they don’t necessarily have to adopt all of your ways of thinking, a great partner will at least be open-minded.

If you find someone that loves to hear about your thoughts, even if they differ from you, you’ve found a tolerant person; something that not always easy to come by.

Respect for you and themself

Feeling disrespected in a relationship is one of the worst feelings. I’ve been in two relationships where I ignored the disrespect my partner showed me, and that made me build resentment for them. Everyone wants to feel like their partner values their ideas and passions.

Finding someone that respects you is a positive sign they’ll treat you well. A solid foundation for a relationship begins with respect, there’s no way around that. The same goes for whether they have respect for themself enough to create boundaries when needed. Without that kind of confidence, they’ll quickly begin to resent people, which can leak into your relationship.

Asking you questions

If your date is the kind of person who keeps the conversation going with questions, that means they care about getting to know you. Too many people get into the dating scene nowadays with their own interests in mind. The biggest turn off I’ve experienced is a date that only talks about themself.

A caring person will want to know more about your life and ask the questions to uncover new parts of who you are. Sure, they’ll talk about themself too, but it’s usually an equal balance between the two.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence, EQ, is essentially their ability to talk about their feelings and recognize how their words affect others.

I know this doesn’t come naturally for everyone, so this is a bit of a tricky area. By no means am I saying that someone with a low EQ makes for a bad partner; in fact, my current partner has trouble expressing his emotions.

But I am saying that someone with high EQ or willingness to work on theirs has a good chance of being a great partner. Someone interested in having a thriving relationship knows communication is key to a healthy relationship.

Planning dates regularly

A green flag that people often overlook is that they regularly plan dates with you. When a person really wants to be part of your life, they will make an effort. I didn’t realize this kind of behavior was even a thing until my current boyfriend started doing it. That’s when I realized how much he wanted to date me, and how some of the guys in my past were uninterested.

Of course, it matters if you want the dates to keep happenings, too. But if so, it’s a great sign you’re on the same page.

Remembering small details

Going a step beyond asking questions, whether or not they listen to you matters, too. If you notice that your date mentions small details you’ve said before, then you know they’re actively listening to what they say.

That may seem romantic right now — and it is; I love that my boyfriend remembers stories I told him months ago — but it’ll also be a great characteristic for a partner long term. It’s a sign that what matters to you matters to them.

While it’ll help you to know red flags to look out for that someone is toxic, green flags are just as important. They might not all be our typical notions of “romantic,” but they’re indicators of a person you can build a healthy relationship with.

So next time you’re out with the person you’re dating, make sure to keep an eye out for these flags, too.

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